Finding Me, Finding You
by FlameOfIllumination
Summary: Tara and Willow grow closer as the physical and emotional scars fade. Faith throws herself into her new life in England, and Buffy realises she can't walk away from this relationship. Sequel to 'A Love Returned'. WT, BF.
1. Chapter 1

**ALR was something I started because I was watching seasons 4&5 and fell in love with the Willow/Tara relationship. Fortunately, it evolved into something more than that, and here I am, finally starting the sequel. **

**Warnings: femslash. That's a definite.**

**May also contain (though this chapter doesn't) torture scenes, mild sex scenes, mentions of child abuse and non-con sex. Some swearing.**

Faith carried her rucksack onto the plane and dumped it onto the empty seat beside her.

Slowly, she stretched her legs out. _So. This is business class. Of course, I have nothing to compare this to but I'm guessing this is the comfy class._

Though she looked nonchalantly around at her fellow passengers, and ripped open a can of coke as soon as she got settled, a buzz of anticipation and excitement sent her to the window as the plane began to move. Childlike, she pressed her nose to the glass and stared out at the tarmac.

Across the aisle, this movement attracted the attention of a young guy about her age. Standing up as soon as the plane leveled out and the seatbelt signs turned off, he came and hovered next to Faith's seat, obviously not quite daring to take her bag off the seat next to her. Faith, still preoccupied with the fact that she was really flying, took a few moments to realise she was being watched.

"What?" she asked.

"Can I sit with you?"

Faith stared at him. "If you're thinking I'll help you join the Mile High Club then…No."

The boy flushed. "No! I just thought we could chat. Tis a long flight."

"I'm not into chatting." Faith said flatly. The young man went even redder, and turned away.

Faith felt a pang of guilt.

"Hey…" she grabbed his sleeve. "Sorry. That was rude."

She kicked the bag off the vacant seat.

"I'm Faith."

He sat down. "My name's James."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Dawn! Dawn! Dawn Michelle Summers get your butt down here now!"

Dawn appeared at the head of the stairs at last, dressed, but defiant in her bunny slippers.

"Michelle?" she asked sardonically.

Buffy shrugged. "Well the name thing works better if you have a middle name. And I didn't think "The Key" had the right ring to it."

"Yeah but 'Michelle'…" she said derisively, continuing to complain as she made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen where Willow was hunched over the paper reading and Tara was making breakfast.

Tara slipped a plate in front of the teenager, following that with a glass of orange juice.

Willow looked up from the paper. "Did you finish your paper Dawnie?"

Dawn nodded. "Senior History." She supplied, seeing a puzzled look on Buffy's face.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah that wasn't what I…never mind." She trailed off, and watched in silence as Dawn pulled the aforementioned paper from her bag and handed it to Willow, who checked it over quickly.

Willow looked up. "This is great Dawn."

Dawn shrugged casually but didn't suppress a smile as she put it back in her bag.

Buffy sat down, pouring herself a glass of juice. The easy routine they'd slipped into again, with Tara back, sometimes surprised her. Then she'd remember that these two had become like parents for Dawn while she was dead.

"Did I ever thank you?"

Tara and Willow looked around at the slayer as one.

"What?"

"Did I ever thank you two for taking care of Dawn while I was…dead?"

Tara raised an eyebrow. "Did I ever thank you for adopting me when my family came to get me?"

Buffy smiled.

Willow looked down at the newspaper again.

Buffy moved to approach her friend, but Dawn intercepted her.

"I need to go to school." she said firmly, looking Buffy in the eyes. "I'll be late if I walk."

"I'll drive you." Buffy offered.

Simultaneous "No!" came from everyone in the room.

"Buffy. I'm seventeen years old, and **unlike ****you** I passed my drivers test." Dawn pouted.

Buffy was halted, mouth open, by this statement.

"Just for that, no driving till you're 21."

Dawn flounced out of the room, followed more sedately by Willow, "I'll drive you."

Tara looked after her girlfriend a touch anxiously, but avoided Buffy's curious glance.

That night, with Dawn studying and the two witches cuddled up in front of the TV, Buffy stepped out of her house alone, a jacket slung over her shoulders. She shivered in the cool night air and thought wistfully of her blanket, her warm house. _Crappy sacred duty. Stupid winter. Stupid vampires._

She walked with considerable speed towards the nearest graveyard, hoping that none of her foes would have risen yet, making staking them much easier. Digging out of their grave, few felt they had any reason to be cautious or quiet. She reached the entrance to the first graveyard, and sighed loudly. Empty graves only feet away confirmed this wasn't going to be one of those nights where she could sleep walk through her job.

Pulling a stake from her bag, she continued to patrol.

"Slayer. All alone tonight are we?"

Buffy winced, though she realised the vampire that had just attempted to knock her head off with a shovel was being cliché, not actually referring to the absent figure of Faith.

Nevertheless, she staked him with unusual venom, and completely lacking in a witty pun.

After a few seconds of silence, the slayer folded downwards and sat Indian style against a tombstone, staring out into the night.

"Come get me vamps." She muttered.

Almost a minute passed, and Buffy stopped looking out at the night and started looking at her hands, staring at them desperately.

Another minute passed and then came the tears.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Willow looked up from the DVD they were watching, a BBC version of 'Fingersmith' By Sarah Waters.

"Would you forgive me for doing that?" Tara asked as they watched Sue and Maud meet again, staring at each other over the table. "Tricking you, committing you?"

Willow started to shake her head, "You would never…"

She looked at Tara properly. "You forgave me for worse."

_I was all right for a while  
I could smile for a while  
then I saw you last night  
you held my hand so tight_

Tara looked at Willow steadily.

The movie continued in the background.

**Have you come to kill me?**

**Oh Maud! I don't…I can't…**

And then Tara was crying, and Willow was trying to hold her and crying herself. "I'm sorry."

Tara stopped with an effort and gave Willow a gentle shove. "You idiot I love you. I don't want you to be so unhappy."_  
_

_When you stopped to say hello  
then you wished me well, you couldn't tell that I'd been  
Crying over you  
Crying over you_

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Momentary guilt at natural rudeness didn't stop Faith from chasing her companion away as soon as she wanted to stop talking, and putting on headphones she turned her music up until she drowned out every other noise around her.

James, across the aisle again, was clearly sulking and Faith shook her head. She could have been nicer. Why did being nice seem like such a betrayal of something? Some part of her? It couldn't be Buffy. It could be. It wasn't the small part of her who wanted to turn the plane around. Sourly, Faith thought of that part of herself as the 'whipped' part.

Face twisted into a scowl, she closed her eyes and leaned back, getting used to this flying business.Her hands twitched, itched for the wooden stake that she couldn't smuggle through customs. Faith fought back boredom on the long flight. She fought back anger, and eagerness, and sadness. She wore a constant smirk, and said little. She was in control. And she would not cry. She'd done too much of that already. That last time with Buffy, in the graveyard amongst the grass, wet with dew.

And here she was on the brink of it, and so instead she stood, ignoring the seatbelt sign which had flickered back on, ignoring the cautions of the stewardesses and almost ran to the bathroom, where she looked at herself in the mirror and enacted a childhood ritual.

I hate you. I hate you. No wonder he leaves us.

_Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear  
Sealed with lies through so many tears  
Lost from within, pursuing the end  
I fight for the chance to be lied to again_

_You will never be strong enough  
You will never be good enough  
You were never conceived in love  
You will not rise above_

**So there's tears for everyone but Faith. Reviews would be appreciated. Is it good, is it bad, is it worth continuing?**

**I know where this story is going, but if anyone has any brilliant ideas, feel free to share. **

**Next chapter: Faith arrives at her new home. **


	2. Chapter 2

**I had a comment that the first chapter was a bit of a downer- which surprised me because I thought I was being too cheerful considering the situation at the end of the last story. **

**Dawn makes an appearance at last. For those of you who would prefer she'd stay away- this is a cameo, I swear. **

**Just a note. First set of italics (with Willow and Tara) is a flashblack. **

**Second set (Faith/Buffy) is a dream. **

**Some people don't pick up on written clues so I thought I'd make it clear.**

**  
**

Peering out through the window of the mini-bus, Faith gave a long whistle as she saw the house up ahead. "Giles, is this for real?"

The Watcher driving smiled. "Yes. That's where we live."

"Nice."

The house up ahead was at least three stories, set in a field of grass so green Faith felt like she'd stepped into a movie set. Off to the side, another building, low and made of wood, had a steady stream of people entering it. Giles flicked a glance that way and said, in a tour guide's voice,

"On your left, you will see the historic Hunter House stables, currently converted into dormitories."

Faith grinned appreciatively.

"Wait- I don't have to sleep in there with like fifty other people do I?"

Giles shook his head. "You'll be sleeping in the main house, along with Xander and I and some of the watchers."

"Gotta nice class system operating over here, don't ya?"

"It's not like that." For the first time, Giles' voice was sharp. "It's just rather difficult to find beds for nearly a hundred girls, especially since most of the bedrooms in the house have been converted into training areas."

There was a pause. "I'm sorry Faith. Comparisons to the old council… make me rather touchy I'm afraid."

Faith waved his apology away. The setting sun flashed in their eyes as the 'bus pulled to a stop in front of the house. Giles shut off the bus, and removed the key from the ignition. Faith started to her feet, but seeing Giles not moving, waited.

"What's up Oxford?"

"I thought we'd talk here, seeing as this is one place guaranteed to be free of adolescent eavesdroppers."

Faith nodded, "But be warned man, I'm dead tired so I don't know how long this little heart to heart can go for."

Giles smiled. "Yes. Well, I just wanted to remind you that…we're not your gaolers."

Faith looked surprised.

"If you don't want to be here, we won't keep you. No-one believes you need punishment."

_No one but me. _Faith thought.

* * *

Dawn Summers knew a few things. One was that ancient Sumerian came easily to her. Two, was that high heels in a graveyard spell broken ankle. The third, that Willow Rosenberg and Tara Maclay were perfect. Separately, Dawn was willing to admit that they had their problems. Willow had this annoying habit of speaking completely over her head in techno language. Tara tended to over clean- every time Dawn got out a glass for a drink she'd turn her back and Tara would have washed it up again. But together? WillowandTara were almost perfect.

When her mum died, and then Buffy died, Dawn thought she'd break down. She felt alone, and sick, and scared. And she'd known, when the two witches knocked on her door and then ignored her yelling 'go away' that they must be feeling the same, that Willow must have the same sick feeling inside, the same feeling that they'd always known would come one day. But still, they knocked, and burst in, and sat beside her and Tara let her cry on her shoulder. Then they stood up and drew her with them downstairs to the kitchen where they made her eat, and drink, and then shower, and eventually it all became routine. Dawn went back to school, and Xander drove her. Tara and Willow were always home when she got back from school, to talk to, to ask advice, even, as things became more normal, to take her to the movies or out to dinner.

And gradually…they became almost like parents to her, like the aunt in a storybook who takes in her orphaned niece. _What a weird metaphor._ Dawn thought. _But then, I wouldn't know who to designate as the 'uncle' if I tried anything else._

Now, with Tara back, and Willow away from Kennedy (who always called her 'kid' and sighed loudly whenever Dawn claimed a moment of the redhead's time) Dawn felt something that not even her sister's return from the dead made her feel. She felt safe.

Cautiously, she looked around the door of the kitchen to the living room. Willow and Tara were pouring over a book, talking quietly together. Buffy was nowhere to be found- as usual. Dawn spared a semi anxious thought for her sister, before focusing on the two women in front of her. Quietly, Dawn entered the room, and stole a glance at the small space between them. They were holding hands. Dawn grinned.

"Hi!"

Willow jumped. Tara turned her head and smiled. "Hey Dawnie. What's up?"

"I just wanted to know if it's okay for me to go over to Julie's house? - it's her birthday and a whole bunch of us are going for dinner."

"Well…" Willow began. "I don't see why not- but you should ask Buffy first."

Dawn scowled.

"Maybe she's got plans for you two…sister's night out or something." Tara suggested gently.

Dawn huffed. "She won't. All she ever does is patrol. As if there aren't fifty billion slayers now."

"Wow. Slayers outnumber us like 8 to 1." Willow said with a straight face, watching as Dawn gave way to a reluctant smile.

"Okay, slight exaggeration, but you know what I mean. All she does is sulk 'cause Giles and Xander aren't here." Dawn frowned at her shoes for a moment, thus missing the looks exchanged by the two witches.

With a raised eyebrow, Tara silently asked Willow-_should we tell her what happened while she was gone?_

Willow gave the tiniest shake of her head. _Buffy has to._

"Go get ready. We'll tell Buffy where you are." Tara said with a sigh, realising it was highly unlikely they'd see Buffy till late.

Released, Dawn gave the two witches a beaming smile before she disappeared, feet pounding up the stairs. Tara took Willow's hand again, rubbing her thumb gently over the ring Willow wore on her left hand.

_It was morning. They'd fallen asleep, entwined on the lounge, their movie long ended. Buffy didn't disturb them as she made her way upstairs. When Willow woke, she looked down at her sleeping girlfriend fondly, but with the sadness still lurking in her eyes. Tara opened her eyes. "Mornin'."_

"_Morning baby."_

"_What's got you so sad this early in the day?" Tara asked._

_Willow shook her head. "Nothing."_

_Tara looked thoughtful, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "I have something for you."  
Willow smiled. "A present? Yay!"_

_Tara nodded. "Yep. Kind of like a reminder. Just wait while I go get it."_

_Willow followed her up the stairs, and detoured to the bathroom where she brushed her teeth and put a brush through her newly shorn, short hair._

"_Willow?"_

_Willow met Tara downstairs._

_Tara looked serious. "Since I've been back, well, we've both changed. You know it, and I know it. But one thing hasn't changed. I love you. I want us to find what we could have had, what we had in those moments before…I died." Tara stumbled slightly, finding it hard to talk about her own demise._

"_So I got you this. The writing on it is to remind you, whenever you feel alone, or ashamed, that I'm here." _

_She held out a box, with a silver ring in it. Shaking, Willow accepted it, and drew the ring out. It was plain silver, engraved with the words, "__**Love**__**Eternal."**_

"Come on." Said Tara, "Let's go to lunch. I know this great café on the college campus."

"But we're not students yet! We're not allowed." Willow protested.

Tara looked shy, and gave a sly grin. "I've never been thrown out of a café yet. It would be an experience."

* * *

...

The hot water on her back was like heaven. It eased away the aching back gained on the plane like skilful fingers. As she stepped out, dried herself off and slipped into one of the white robes hanging from a hook in the bathroom, Faith let out a huge yawn.

"Woah. Might not make it till midnight." She muttered.

"Ah well. I'm sure X-man won't mind not saying hello until the morning. And if I don't see him tonight, I don't have to meet any of the slayers he's patrolling with. Bonus. Now where the fuck's my bedroom?"

Wandering into the hall, Faith eventually got directions from a tweed-clad Watcher who stammered painfully for a few moments before simply pointing in the direction to go. Faith walked on slowly, enjoying the effect she was having.

Her room was on the second floor, in a corner by itself. She pushed open the door gently.

Faith had lived in a lot of places. Her mother's apartment in Boston, full of beer bottles and the sounds of screams. A shelter, shared with two dozen women. The alcove in front of a department store.

Her motel room in Sunnydale, decked with crappy Christmas lights and paper thin walls. Faith remembered going out every night, trying not to hear the sounds of sex coming from all around her pay by the hour motel. Then there was the apartment. To Faith's eyes, at first it had just been the most expensive place she ever owned. Then, it had come to mean more. It was a symbol of the first person who'd ever loved her, and not wanted to sleep with her.

This room was just a room. Bare, for the most part. A bed, built in wardrobe and a desk. Faith looked at it contemptuously. "I'm not here to go to school."

But the bed was soft, and Faith noticed as she climbed in that the room was clean, and warm, and that there was a vase with a flower in it on the desk. Someone had made the effort to welcome her.

She closed her eyes. _This can't be true. I hate you. Remember? Face pressed against the mirror by strong hands, tears running down it. "Say it. Say it." I hate you._

Faith forced the old memories away. "I'm here. I'm here. I'm not there anymore."

Gradually, she relaxed, and after nearly swallowing her own head with a massive yawn, fell asleep.

_**I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you**_

_**But who can decide what they dream?**_

_**And dream I do...**_

"_Faith? Faith?"_

"_Yeah Buffy."_

"_Come here."_

_The sun shone on them. They lay entwined in the sand._

"_It's daytime and we're together."_

"_No shit, Sherlock. I noticed when I woke the big yellow ball in the sky was up."_

"_I'm so glad you're the slayer."_

"_Me too. I'll protect you. From everything."_

"_Will you let me patrol with you sometime?"_

"_Maybe. When hell freezes over."_

_The blonde gave Faith puppy dog eyes for a moment, and then moved closer, dropping her head onto Faith's shoulder and pressing herself against the other's body._

_Faith shuddered, and reached for the tie of her top. "I'll be a white hat one day. A good person."_

"_You already are." Buffy said, stripping.  
_

* * *

Kennedy walked. She felt like she'd been walking forever. She'd seen three sunrises strike her face and light up the plains. She had a long way to go. _But every step brings me closer to you. My Willow._

Thin, with a feral light in her eyes, she resembled nothing so much as a savage dog. She walked and ran towards what she wanted; never guessing at what she'd get instead.

**_Okay! Thanks to all the lovely people who reviewed the first chapter of my very first sequel. :) I had some of the nicest comments I've ever got._**

**_Thanks to Lil428, Devianttart, pezgirl1, zigpal, and Gina1982. _**

_**Also to**** You Don't But Thanks Anyway, for inspiring me to get moving on the sequel to ALR.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Willow and Tara wandered the campus hand in hand, exclaiming over books, computer rooms and libraries.

"We're nerds, aren't we?" Willow said at last as they made a mutual decision to stop.

"No." Tara replied. "You're a nerd. I'm a dork."

"What?"

"Come on, you're the computer literate one- that makes you a nerd. I'm still stuck back in email and msn messenger land- you're the Hacker Queen."

"I was." Willow shrugged. "And then the magic just got more important."

Tara squeezed Willow's hand sympathetically.

"Well...and I don't want you to think anything, it's just a s-suggestion, but, maybe you want to take some computer courses this semester?"

Willow stared at her, too surprised by the return of Tara's stutter to really take in the comment.

Tara frowned. "I've always stuttered Willow. I c-can't help it."

"You haven't done it since you...came back." Willow pointed out.

"Maybe it's just the school environment, taking me back to the first time we went through college. Now, look, there's the cafe." Tara pointed, changing the subject.

"Mocha's?" Willow asked excitedly.

"Mocha's." Tara confirmed.

* * *

Tara regretted her actions, but only a tiny bit. The sight of a hyper Willow being kicked out, foam from her drink on her nose, was amusing enough that even the threat of possible pouting from the redhead wasn't enough to make her truly regret allowing Willow to drink three mocha's and demonstrate a physics equation with a sugar bowl.

Walking home, Willow wondered if she'd ever been this happy before.

Naturally, all good things, must come to an end.

They'd barely made it in the door, shrugging off their coats, when the door opened behind them and Dawn flounced through, heading straight for the stairs.

"Dawn?" Tara said, concerned.

The teenager didn't stop, feet pounding up the stairs. The noise of her door slamming sounded like a gunshot.

Tara sighed. "I'll go."

Willow shook her head. "Let's do it together."

The two witches headed upstairs.

* * *

From her spot, lying on the lounge under a doona, Buffy listened and watched. She'd sighed with frustration at Dawn's entrance, and had made an abortive attempt to get up and say something, before deciding she was far too warm and comfortable to do that. Now she felt only guilt, watching Willow and Tara go do the job that, deep down, Buffy knew she should have done._ You're not the one and only Slayer anymore, but that doesn't mean all your responsibilities are gone. She_ reminded herself.

Dawn's laughter floated downstairs.

Buffy flicked on the TV.

Canned laughter drowned out the real, and the sky turned orange as outside the shuttered windows, the sun began to set.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys. sorry for the long break. life and etc.**

**A Faith focused chapter for you guys. Sorry about the length, I just thought you might like an update, its been so long.**

**Thanks as always go to my reviewers, especially 'You Don't But Thanks Anyway', who inspired me to start the sequel.**

* * *

She doesn't care about me."

Willow and Tara exchanged frustrated glances.

"Sweetie," Tara began, sitting down beside Dawn, "she does, and you know it. She died for you."

"That was then. This is now." Dawn retorted, although not without a look of sudden shame as Tara's first bolt hit home.

"Look, Dawnie, you're the one who complains when Buffy gets all over protective of you. She's going through some stuff, you have to give her time in her own head. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you or want you around, it just means she's been a little distracted lately," Willow explained.

"A **lot** lately," Dawn interjected, but her face was calmer.

"Now, do you want to tell us what's wrong?"

Dawn shook her head and gave a rueful smile. "I just wanted to get Buffy's attention," she admitted.

Willow wrinkled her nose. "How 'bout going 'Hey Buffy, free chocolate!' or something instead?"

Dawn gasped. "You think if I had chocolate I'd let someone else have some? **For free?"**

* * *

Despite the jet lag, Faith awoke relatively early the next day, just in time to hear the bell she guessed signified breakfast. She reluctantly rose from bed, the sudden need for food greater than her need to sleep and avoid people.

Glancing out a window, she re-evaluated her 'early wake up'. The bright sun suggested midday at the earliest.

"Damn it."

She reached for the duffel bag that contained her entire wardrobe and considered which outfit would be most appropriate for a school environment.

_Too much cleavage. Too much cleavage. Too short. _

This perusal took mere seconds, she settled on her skin tight black jeans and the white singlet she'd slept in, and headed downstairs, grateful for the dining hall sign in the front foyer that pointed the way.

She stopped in the doorway and scanned the room.

Used to institutions, it had a familiar feelings that was both comforting and disturbing. long tables, girls seated at each. Four more tables stood off to one side, filled with suited men and women. Faith guessed these were the Watchers. She scanned those tables for Xander and Giles, and found neither.

"Faith!"

Wincing slightly, Faith glanced in the direction the voice came from and smiled, ignoring the sudden silence, and the hundreds of eyes that had just turned her way.

Xander waved from his place at one of the tables filled with girls. Giles sat at the head, looking a little out of place amongst so many adolescent girls. "Hey X-man," Faith said, casually sauntering over. "Long time no see."

To her surprise and embarrassment, Xander pulled her into a hug, which she endured stiffly.

Giles smiled at her, "You're looking rested."

"Yep. Love the room. Thanks for the rose Giles, even if you are a little old for me," she teased, grinning unrepentantly as he strongly denied putting it there.

Xander shrugged. "Don't blame me either."

At this point in the conversation, Faith realised the room was still silently staring. One girl was staring at her with a smile so bright and wide Faith half thought she could see the girl's tonsils.

"What's their problem?" she asked Xander in a stage whisper.

"Star-struck," he mouthed back, before standing up.

"Girls, as you can all see and hear, the surprise I promised has arrived."

Faith raised an eyebrow.

"This is Faith. She's going to be staying for a while. I'm guessing by the collective stunned mullet looks that you know who she is, so all I'll say is, be cool." He glanced down at Faith, who was laughing, and sat down again.

"Awesome. Saves me the awkward intros. Now, what's for breakfast?"

"Lunch, you mean," said Giles.

Afterwards, Faith was happy to let Xander and Giles show her around the vast estate as Giles explained his plans for her. "You don't have to do this, remember, but if you'd like to, you are more than welcome."

"I'm here G-man, lay it on me."

"We want you to train the girls. Show them your style, techniques, give them advice, listen to them."

Faith snorted. "Are you sure you want me giving these kids advice?"

"We'll start with the training," Giles suggested.

* * *

Faith sat on the edge of a small raised platform at the front of a large room. Around thirty girls faced her, scattered through the room like a flock of sheep.

"Alrighty," she said, meeting every eye in turn as she scanned the room, "anyone wanna show me what you guys have been doing?"

There was a hesitant pause.

Faith sighed. Pointing to a girl at random, she gestured sharply. "C'mere."

Her victim, an African American girl of about seventeen came forward quickly and stood in front of her.

"Well, come on, show me."

"We've been working on punch combinations," The girl offered after another pause.

Faith nodded. "Okay. Except I said show me, not tell me. She stood up, put her hands behind her back and walked forward till she was in the other girl's range. "What's your name?"

"Cassie."

"Okay Cassie, show me. Hit me with your best shot."

After another long pause, Faith was about to speak when Cassie let loose a flurry of punches. Faith twisted, bent, leaned, did everything but move from her spot or take her hands from behind her back, and avoided every single punch.

"Okay stop." Faith said at last when giggles were starting to be heard from the crowd. "And you lot, shut it."

"That was good. But you guys don't have the luxury of being good. You gotta be great. Or you're gunna break the first rule of being a slayer."

"What's that?" Cassie asked, back amongst her classmates.

"Don't die."


	5. Chapter 5

Faith and Giles made their way across the grounds together.

Giles, back in the tweed suits of his younger days, looked perfectly at home walking across the green manicured lawns, but Faith couldn't stop staring. Now, looking around, she thought that the Headquarters looked like the kind of place you only see in old movies. The large, many storied house was set in acres of green lawn, and to the west a thick stand of trees made a dark shadow. Marked out with small white flags were a training field, and a running track that circled the house. The house itself had a Victorian feel, marred by the IPods and running shoes scattered through the downstairs floors. Giles informed Faith that seventy five percent of the slayers found so far lived here, with a far few opting out of coming.

Faith shook her head.

"Damn, if I'd known when I was a nothing that I'd get to live in a place like this…I would have been on the next plane.

Giles nodded. "Yes, well, there are a variety of reasons for the slayers' declining. Some are forbidden by their parents, and since very few are overage that makes all this impossible. Some are reluctant to use their powers, due to their cultural or religious beliefs. And some…some refuse to believe me, despite my best efforts, and the efforts of others. Also, most of the girls are from the UK or America, and mostly English speaking, as they're the easiest for us to contact. Some of them take English lessons, and Xander helps with that."

Faith just nodded. They reached a courtyard beside the house. Xander stood there, dressed in jeans and a casual shirt. He was talking to a small group of girls. Spread over the floor of the hall, the others had paired up, and were talking animatedly. Faith caught her own name being said a few times, and grinned.

"All right." Xander turned away from the girls he'd been speaking to and addressed the room.

"What are you guys doing? You're supposed to be training: punching, kicking, hair pulling and other girly fighting techniques."

The girls laughed at an obviously familiar joke, yet Faith was surprised to see the respect with which they regarded Xander, or, 'Mr Harris' as some of them called him. He grinned engagingly at them, but his voice was a little sterner as he pulled a notebook from his pocket with a flourish. "Tania, Rachael M, Rachael S, Ying Chien, Hanna and Lexi are on RD."

Six girls groaned in unison. One slayer at last spotted Faith and Giles standing silently off to the side and the chorus of whispers started again.

Xander gave his friends a wave, but continued with what he was doing.

"Joanna, Olivia, Elizabeth, Rue, and Krystal are on clean up. Abby, Rochelle, Amy, Sumey and Salimah are our WoW's."

Faith raised an eyebrow.

Giles said softly, "Watchers for the week. Study and research, no fieldwork or training."

"Sucks to be them."

Giles looked offended. Choosing to ignore Faith's reply, he said, "Usually I do the announcements, but Xander insisted on freeing me from the responsibility."

"Hate to throw you in the deep end like this Faith," Xander said from the stage, "But do you think you could give these girls a little demonstration later on?"

Faith sighed and stepped forward, facing the crowd. For a moment, she felt a trace of nerves, almost like stage fright. Then she grinned.

"I'm Faith." She ignored the ripple that spread through the crowd.

_I'm famous. That's funny._

"Look, _**Mr**_ Giles has asked me to help. I'm gonna train you up, you're gunna listen. Okay? Good. Go to the training hall."

The assembled slayers, numbering about a hundred, looked from one to another.

Is that it?

Faith looked at them. "I'm not a speechmaker. I'm not even a fricken teacher, but I'm here to help. You want speeches on your destiny, on who we are and why we're here and how damn wonderful it is to be alive, you better get Buffy."

Another ripple. Faith wondered if they'd just keep right on stirring if she kept on name dropping.

"Well, get going!" she said, and the girls left, most looking back over their shoulders for a last glimpse. Xander followed; a wide smile on his face, obviously amused at the reaction of the girls.

Faith turned to Giles, who'd stood beside her the whole time and was now looking amused. "I introduced myself, and I made them leave. What else did you want?"

He put a hand on her shoulder. "I think you'll do just fine." He said reassuringly, smiling at her.

"Thanks Giles."

* * *

In the gym, the girls assembled in ragged lines, facing a slight stage. Unlike the group she'd seen earlier, this was all of the girls. One hundred and four of them, to be precise.

Faith swaggered onto the stage, feeling utterly ridiculous but determined not to show it.

She peeled off her leather jacket and looked outwards. Cassie met her eyes, smiling slightly, and Faith gave her a quick nod.

"Nothing here to fight." she said dismissively, eyes scanning, looking for the right one.

One girl, her blue eyes shooting sparks shot Faith a death glare. _That one. She reacted the best._

Faith met it with a mocking grin, and shrugged her shoulders casually. "You think different kiddo?"

"I've been killing vampires since before I was a slayer."

Rolling eyes greeted this proclamation- apparently the other slayers had heard it all before.

Faith just grinned. "Ok. Come on up then."

The other girl was good. She had blond hair cut short as a boy's, and wore no make-up. Hr movements were fluid, graceful, and obviously followed some form of martial arts training.

"So, you learn karate or something?" Faith asked, blocking a quick strike and feinting back.

The girl didn't reply.

With a savage headbutt and a low blow to the knee, Faith knocked her opponent down, and, making special effort to keep her voice casual asked her again.

"Giles teaches 'em some from the slayer handbook." Xander put in. He looked slightly anxious.

"No sweat Cyclops, I won't hurt your kid here." Faith reassured him, stepping back out of range of the angry, embarrassed, sweeping kick made by the younger girl as she regained her feet.

They circled each other warily. Faith made sure to keep a smirk on her face- it didn't take someone with a great understanding of human nature to see that it was pissing the other girl off.

Then, just before the girl snapped, before she let rage take her over, Faith stopped the fight.

"Good work." She said, watching as the girl tried to present a mask of total indifference. On anyone else, it might have worked, but Faith was the expert at disguising her thoughts and feelings.

* * *

_(Later)_

Tired but unwilling to show it, sore but stoic, Faith walked ahead of the others, deliberately keeping her strides long and relaxed looking. She ignored the whiny tone of voice adopted by most of the girls, and as they entered the dining hall she turned to them and said, "I started out easy for you. Tomorrow gets better."

She grinned as they groaned despairingly, and watched them disperse. Faith looked around and spotted Giles easting by himself. Grabbing her tray she sat down opposite him.

Giles watched, amused but not surprised as she consumed the equivalent of his daily meals in one sitting. "There's one thing," Faith said, the first word she'd spoken since sitting down, "Why go all Hogwarts on them? Why not just give 'em a Watcher and send 'em out there like with me and B?"

Giles looked at her levelly. "There are perhaps 20 surviving active watchers, another 6 or 7 coming out of retirement to help, and over 100 girls at this school, with more arriving every day."

Faith nodded and swallowed the last mouthful of her Milo. "I like it strong," she'd explained cheerfully to the kitchen staff who watched open mouthed as she put in 8 teaspoons of Milo, the milk floating on top like oil on water.

She stood up. "So, I've walked 'em, that's my part done isn't it?" she asked, "You're not expecting bed time stories and hair brushing sessions from me are you?"

Giles shook his head. "No, not really."

"Good." Faith stalked away, wondering if she'd ever become used to the constant staring from hundreds of eyes.

************************************

Buffy swung, fist connecting, stake sending a cloud of dust through the night air. The vampire she'd been fighting grimaced as his companion simply blew away on the wind.

"Don't like that, do you?" she smirked. He snarled in response but her hands moved quicker and before the noise of it reached her ears he was dust.

"How long are we gunna stay here?"

Buffy snapped around. Dawn walked towards her.

"Dawn? What are you doing out here?"

"Chill," said the teen, reaching into her shirt and pulling out a large crucifix hanging on a chain. "Cross, holy water, stake. I'm all good," she smiled, replacing each object inside her shirt.

"What do you want?" Buffy snapped.

"To know when we're getting out of here. Don't you remember promising to show me the world, and not make me hide from it?"

Buffy started to make some quick reply then stopped. "Yeah," she muttered. "I know but,"

"But what? I know things haven't been good for you but I don't know why- you never tell me," Dawn whined.

"You don't want to know."

"Tell me!"

"No!"

"Then let's go! Leave! Let's get the fuck out of here! Look, see these," Dawn waved a handful of papers. "Brochures, magazines, places. Let's go to Hawaii and sun ourselves! Let's go to Greece and look at naked statues. Let's go to Paris and drink coffee at the Eiffel tower!"

Dawn stopped, breathing heavily from her rant.

Buffy looked furious for a few seconds, then slowly, a twinkle returned to her eyes.

"Naked statues huh?"

The sisters' laughter rang out.

* * *

And that was what it took. By the time the Summers' girls had reached home, where Tara and Willow were watching television, they had decided on Greece. Dawn burst into the house, grinning from ear to ear, and racing up the stairs to boast to her school friends about the trip.

Buffy watched her go, felt Tara and Willow's eyes on her, and let some of the happiness die from her face. She turned and looked at her friends seriously.

"I'm really sorry."

"B-Buffy, don't be."

"I'm trying, so hard," Buffy said; her voice thick with tears, "To be better, to be myself."

Willow shook her head, "Darl, we don't want you to be 'better' we want you to be happy. So go, be happy. Forget about everything for a while."

Buffy looked at her gratefully. "Oh Will."

She turned away for a second, turned back, smiled through her tears. "I think this could be good for us. And Dawn needs this. I promised her."

Tara came forward, laid her hand on Buffy's shoulder. "I think maybe you n-need this too."

**Thanks to everyone who is sticking by no matter how slow I am!**

**Tell me what you think of this chapter, pretty please:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry guys, I know it's been a while. **

-/-/-/

Kennedy was tired. She'd been walking for days now, at first along tar roads, then dirt tracks. Now she'd left even those tracks, peopled by dark skinned children herding goats and cows, and followed trails that were mostly overgrown, where she'd stopped only when confronted with the occasional snake.

She'd not seen another human being for several days now. Willow was constantly on her mind and her lips, she muttered her name as she walked and had calmed enough to feel detached from her initial rage. Sometimes, Kennedy even got so far as to wonder how exactly hurt feelings and jealous possessiveness had carried her all the way through her life with Willow, to Africa. Always, these moments were fleeting, and afterward her face was black and bitter for all, though there were none, to see.

Her progress now had slowed, although whether this was due to the rougher terrain, or a secret unwillingness to rush the moment she was working towards so diligently, not even Kennedy knew. Time and experience had taught her not to walk in the heat of the day, when even slayer stamina had failed to save her from heatstroke and delirium caused by her initial ignorance. Instead she travelled mostly by night, trusting in her strength and speed to save her from the dangers of the African bush.

She came at last to a fork in the rough animal track she'd been following and hesitated, looking around. Nothing looked different. Just a place of spindly, ancient trees, thin grey grass and red dust.

The feeling that had told her she was going the right way had disappeared, and was replaced by…nothing. She didn't know what to do. Kennedy could hear her heartbeat pounding in her ears, her breath coming faster, but as to the why? Why the sudden panic?

She was sweating, suddenly acutely aware of the damply dirty clothes she was wearing. It was early morning, the time of day when she was the most tired. The strictly rationed food she carried seemed to be calling her. A susurration by her leg. The food? Maybe her empty canteen had a stone in it?

Pain, as something struck faster than she could leap away from. Kennedy lay on the ground, a thousand miles from home and thought of a river, running slowly and steadily through fields she'd never seen. The banks were verdant green, adorned with trees whose long tresses trailed in the clear water.

-/-/-/

Rupert Giles faced a classroom full of girls. He still felt a familiar feeling of déjà vu, a remembrance of Sunnydale High, and the classes he'd taught at the library. These girls were, mostly, more attentive, and of course the single sex environment was new. Eagerly, he launched into his lecture, having learned enough by now to glance up and check he wasn't losing them with too much etymology.

He ended the two hour session, as usual, with a story. Taken from the watcher diaries, he took care to translate some of the stuffier passages. The girls always quieted when these stories were read, but from their occasional cheers when he described a more exciting fight, Giles knew that was from respect for him, and not their fallen forebears. This day, a few weeks after Faith's arrival, he picked up his notes, glanced at them and began. At the back of the room, movement. Faith stood in the doorway, as yet unnoticed by the girls who regarded her with so much awe. She and Giles met eyes briefly, and she gave him a half grin, and gestured for him to continue. Hesitantly, he did so. This was a short tale anyway.

Faith leaned and listened to Giles as he spoke of a Vietnamese slayer, hunting layarth demons through rice paddies. Of her death, six months after her calling. She'd died from infection, after losing her left foot to a landmine.

Faith winced in silent sympathy, her face thoughtful. "Who came next?"

The question slipped from her before she thought, and a classroom swiveled. Faith glared at them, and Giles smiled. "We don't know. Next came more than one Slayer whom the Council couldn't find," he explained. "Well, ladies, I think we are done for today. You can all go to free time now."

Faith stalked into the room as the girls headed out, brow furrowed. "Why tell 'em that stuff?" she asked.

"It's important. I hope it helps them, makes them more careful, more aware. They have parents, friends, people who love them and need them to be cautious."

"Whatever," Faith shrugged, "Anyway, I just wanted to ask…"

"Yes?" Giles thought he detected a note of wistfulness in Faith's eyes, soon buried.

"When do we get paid?"

-/-/-/

It was late afternoon in California, Buffy and Dawn had left for Athens that morning, and Willow and Tara had taken full advantage of having the house to themselves. Alas, an evening class loomed, and neither Wiccan was really looking forward to it.

Willow sighed, flopping back against her pillows.

"What's wrong baby?" Tara asked.

"Can we just stay like this, here, forever?"

Tara smiled though her eyes were troubled. "I think we might eventually need showers, food, sunshine," she teased, draping one arm over Willow's thighs. "After all, this has very little nutritional value."

Willow blushed and gave a shocked laugh. "Tara! You…vixen."

Tara grinned.

"You know, you have quite a goofy grin," Willow said, her face serious. "I'm worried. What if the wind changes and you get stuck like that? How am I supposed to have a goofy grinning girlfriend?"

Tara rolled her eyes affectionately and silenced Willow's teasing with a kiss.

Then she slid to the end of the bed, getting up and going over to the mirror where she began to tidy her hair.

Willow watched, still sprawled across the bed.

"Not that I mind the view, but what happened to shy Tara?" the redhead laughed as she watched her girlfriend standing naked in front of the dresser.

Tara glanced in the mirror, meeting Willow's eyes. "She's still here. I guess I just can't be shy with you. You're like a part of me now. You make me feel brave. I make me feel brave."

She turned back around, tossing Willow's brush in her direction. "Now, up! Class waits."

Despite their best intentions, and Tara's hurrying tactics, he two witches slipped in a few minutes late to class, enduring the walk of shame to their seats.

"Of course, it was never going to be that simple for Caesar. Plagued by enemies in and out of the Senate, a special military command was the only way his imperium had any chance of being prorogued…"

Two hours later, the women walked swiftly from that stuffy room, scarcely looking around. Willow let Tara get slightly ahead of her, content to watch the back of her head as she walked, a part of her still reeling with disbelief that she'd somehow got her life back. Despite everything, Tara was here, Tara had forgiven her for the terrible things Willow had done at her death, had even forgiven her for Kennedy.

Lost in thought, Willow crashed into Tara's back when the other witch stopped. Tara took her hand and kept walking. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Just thinking how lucky I am to have you."

"Real answer now?" Tara replied.

"That was the real answer. After everything…Warren, the world…Kennedy."

Tara stopped. "Kennedy? Baby…you don't think what happened with Kennedy was your fault, do you?"

"No…" Willow lied uneasily, "But I should never have been with her. I thought you were gone and I didn't want to be alone…maybe if I hadn't have given in, she never would have been so bad."

Tara frowned. "What was wrong with Kennedy wasn't your fault baby. She just would have found someone to become so…sickeningly obsessed with. Or she might have hurt you, for saying no."

Willow glanced at Tara and away. It seemed pointless and a little bit sick to try and explain to Tara, of all people, why Willow had liked Kennedy in the first place, but the little potential slayer had been different before the last battle in Sunnydale. Annoying, often, but mean, never. Never violent with her either. Kennedy offered Willow a kind of teasing gallantry that she'd never had before. She was protective of Willow, but also a little scared and scornful of her magic.

So Willow just smiled, and nodded, and said "You're right baby, I know. It's hard to break old thought patterns though."

-/-/-/

Buffy was exhausted. From the plane trip, to hauling around an over excited Dawn to try and find their hotel in a non-English speaking country, all she wanted to do was sleep. Their room was nice, a double bed and a single. Buffy claimed the double by sprawling over it as soon as she entered and ignoring Dawn's glare.

After a quick meal, and a halfhearted peek out the window, both Summers' girls were asleep.

* * *

"_Kennedy!"_

_Buffy growled like a cat, surprising herself. _

_Kennedy hissed back, arching her back. _

_Another voice._

"_If you two are going to catfight, could you at least wait for me? This I wanna see."_

_Faith grinned as she stepped out of the shadows. Buffy's breath caught audibly in her throat. Faith shot her an indecipherable look before she turned to look at Kennedy._

_The younger slayer was no longer glaring hostility. Her eyes were far away, and there was pain in them._

"_I was going to surpass both of you, you know." She said. "I will. I will do it." _

_Neither Buffy or Faith replied, both staring dumbly at her. _

"_Wait! Hang on. No!" Kennedy looked suddenly panicked, her face pale._

_And Kennedy was propelled from sleep, leaving Buffy and Faith alone._

"_Well," Buffy grimaced, "That was weird."_

_Faith nodded. "The other slayers don't usually invade my dreams."_

"_Hey, this is my dream!" Buffy protested._

_Faith grinned. "You're right. That's how Kennedy got in. This __**is**__ your dream."_

_Buffy rolled her eyes._

"_It's been a long time," Faith said softly, "or it kinda feels like it, huh?"_

"_Four weeks. How's England?"_

"_Too cold, everyone is vamp-white and dressed like they're from another time. It's confusing my slayer senses. The beer's good though."_

"_What do you do over there?"_

"_Why the twenty questions princess?" Faith shot back, "If you wanna chat, what's wrong with the phone?" she challenged._

_Buffy scowled. "What about you? You could email me."_

"_You really think I have an email address?" Faith scoffed. "What's your address, ?_

_Better than Buffy shot back._

_For a moment the girls glared at each other, then, slowly, smiles appeared. _

"_You forgot __**sexy**__-bad-girl" Faith laughed. _

"_Oh, how silly of me" Buffy fluttered her eyelashes and gave a helpless gesture._

_They both grinned at each other._

"_I miss you." Buffy admitted. _

_Faith grew serious for a moment. "I miss fucking you. I miss the feel of you coming around my fingers."_

"_Faith!" Buffy blushed, "Don't be so crude."_

_Faith hesitated. "Fine. I miss…kissing you."_

_Buffy blushed even redder. "So do I." she admitted. "I miss the smell of your leather jacket."_

_The girls came together, extended hands. "This is just a dream, right?" Faith asked, reaching out. _

_Cowardice overtook Buffy, just as it had Faith. "Yeah, this is a dream. It's not real" she whispered._

_Their hands met, for a second, maybe two, and then they were through each other, hands though hands like they were both ghosts. "Okay. Weird. My hand is in your chest," Buffy said, voice shaky._

_Faith grinned, "It's just like old times, right B?"_


End file.
